Malendrier: Like a rock

K decided to take on an arduous Malendrier task. This is his story.
To buy the book, play with your Mistress or learn more about yourself, click here! pdf ebook version or kindle format or as a beautiful book object, paper edition.

—

A few months ago, on my way to the Ferule, I read one of the tasks on offer, entitled "Like a rock". This task involved holding a coin against a wall for a set period of time. As I read the description of this task, I thought it would be a good way of measuring my ability to be focused, diligent and patient.

To carry out this task, I first thought about a length of time that was both achievable and ambitious enough to be personally challenging. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to set myself a time limit of one hour. Then I thought about where and under what conditions I would carry out this task. On reflection, I decided that it would be in the corridor, isolated from any visual or auditory distractions that might influence my notion of time and spoil the task.

I was ready to carry out this task, but I felt that something was missing to make it more meaningful. For me, completing this task as described would have been too simple. All I'd have had to do was set the timer on my phone, wait patiently with my nose to the grindstone until my phone rang, and I'd be done. But in the end, what would I have accomplished?
Have I learned something new about myself?
Would I have felt a real sense of satisfaction once the task had been completed?

After all these questions, I realized that I needed to add something else to spice up the task. What if I carried out this task by starting a stopwatch, without knowing at any point whether or not I had achieved the objective? Would I be able to last an hour based solely on my estimate of the time spent holding the piece with my nose?
Will I underestimate myself? For example, will I last 2 hours thinking I only lasted one? How will I react? With astonishment? Joy?
Or will I overestimate myself? Hold out for just fifteen minutes when I thought I'd held out for an hour? And what will my reaction be? Surprised? Disappointment?

By asking myself all these questions, I finally understood what was at stake. When I felt ready, I grabbed a two-euro coin, started the stopwatch and immediately put the coin against the wall, holding it with my nose. From that moment on, I concentrated on keeping it going for at least an hour, but also on not dropping the coin.
It would have been a shame to drop the piece through carelessness, which would have nullified the task.

Within the first few minutes, I quickly realized that an hour was a long time and that I'd perhaps gotten a little too carried away. After that, I started to think, trying to find a way to make the time pass more quickly. After a brief moment, I started dreaming about all the things I'd experienced in the BDSM world, the sessions, the discoveries, the surprises and everything else that goes with it.

After a while, I felt my impatience growing. From then on, I heard a tempting voice in my head saying:
"Stop for 10 seconds and look at the time remaining, who's going to know anyway? Nobody."
And on the other side a voice of reason telling me:
"No no no, that's cheating, you'll be sorry afterwards, what's an hour in a lifetime? It's nothing.

Reflecting on this dilemma, the side of reason finally took over. After a while of daydreaming, resisting impatience and boredom, I estimated that I had reached one o'clock. I withdrew the coin and went straight to my phone to see if I'd reached my goal. I looked at the screen and saw that I'd lasted ..... 1h35.

Naturally, my first reaction was one of surprise, as I didn't think I'd be able to achieve such a long time. My second reaction was one of satisfaction, because I'd accomplished the task I'd set myself. What I took away from this task was the importance of perseverance and self-confidence, because in the first few minutes, I didn't think I'd last that long. Finally, one thing I noticed was that I dreamt of many of the moments I was able to experience, even though I'm just starting out.