Coaching and mentoring

Are you struggling to connect with your "inner power"? Creating a Dominatrix persona?
Are you keen to play the martinet or diversify your talents?
My motto: you know more than you think you know. Let's search together!

Why coaching?

Because it's intimidating to go it alone, to project an image of confidence and strength... I've been there myself! Now, with fifteen (and more) years of practice under my belt, I consider myself very seasoned, though still learning. We never stop learning, do we?

I'm particularly interested in the psychological and relational aspects of BDSM. Handling tools is important, of course, but in my eyes less so than building a real D/s dynamic. BDSM starts in the head!
Pedagogical, I listen to you, guide you and adapt to your needs.
Experienced, I regularly give workshops.

Preferred topics

  • Imagine your "alter-D": which dominator for which domination?
  • Initiation to the art of domination : establish a D/s dynamic, work on posture, discover instruments...
  • For women in particular : to feel legitimate, to assert oneself as such. To say no.
  • Preparing a session : negotiating limits, ritualizing the place, atmosphere, state of mind...
  • Conducting a session : start, link practices, create a rhythm, close.
  • Diversify your talents: handle instruments, learn new practices.
  • Dealing with tricky issues: session gone wrong, compartmentalization of work/life...
  • Any other needs? Please contact me.

In practice

  • Whether punctual or on-going, my coaching is aimed at novices as well as experienced players.
  • It takes place by videoconference (minimum 30 minutes), at the Cruel Boudoir or on neutral ground (minimum 1 hour).
  • A deposit is required.
  • Please describe your request in detail: your problem, the planned format (duration, face-to-face or distance learning), your availability (dates and times, several slots).

My path between vulnerability and power

When I started Domina, the BDSM landscape in France was VERY different from today: online resources, serious books, SM-kinky-latex parties were rare, Fetlife didn't exist, there were no munches to socialize, no workshops or festivals to learn and perfect. BDSM was a solitary, secret path, a world away from magazine covers.
Starting out in these conditions wasn't easy, but it was exhilarating.
Curious without a compass, I searched far and wide, multiplying discussions, one-off or lasting connections, sometimes D/s, sometimes SM, sometimes BDSM experiences. I've met some great people and some not so great, experienced moments of joy, sorrow and discouragement. I've made mistakes and learned from them. I've doubted my abilities, my intuition and my certainties. I questioned my legitimacy and worked to affirm it.
I found myself null then extraordinary, extraordinary then vulnerable, powerful because vulnerable.

Over time, I've questioned my practice, the clichés and archetypes associated with BDSM. I had to, as I only belatedly identified my childhood tastes as such: in my head, an SM Dominatrix Mistress was a ruthless creature dressed in latex or vinyl, wielding a whip in a cellar... Nothing like me. So I wasn't a Mistress!
Little by little, I incorporated into my thinking a variety of knowledge and fields that piqued my interest. Here are just a few: neuroscience, feminism, hypnosis and MSC (Modified States of Consciousness), psychoanalysis, Jodorowsky's psychomagic, shibari, dance and touch.

I'm passionate about forging links between fields that might seem very separate. And so does breaking down the barriers between different areas of knowledge... Hence my motto: you know a lot more than you think you do!